


How Many Times Do I Have To Say No Ice Cubes?!

by BloodyAbattoir



Series: How To Torment A Shade To The Point Of Insanity [4]
Category: Eragon (2006), Labyrinth (1986), Once Upon a Time (TV), The Inheritance Cycle - Christopher Paolini
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-09-29 11:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20435195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyAbattoir/pseuds/BloodyAbattoir
Summary: Inspired by a recurring 'request' from another story, wherein a particular Shade insists on no ice cubes in his water.





	How Many Times Do I Have To Say No Ice Cubes?!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissRedpen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissRedpen/gifts).

"Water, and no ice!" The Shade barked out what was becoming his go-to request when not consuming some sort of alcoholic beverage. 

"So, dearie, why the odd request?" You've only made it every time we've been here!" Rumplestiltskin asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Durza turned and fixed him with a glare, before he growled out, "I find ice that's not attached to a glacier or a mountain to be an abomination. Who ever heard of such a thing as ice when it's hotter than hell outside?" 

From the other side of Rumplestiltskin, the Goblin King let out a cackle. "Bold of you to talk about abominations, considering you are one." 

"Takes one to know one." The Shade snarked back, before taking a gulp of water out of the glass that the barmaid had set down a moment before, only to spit it out with a yelp, his hand flying to cover his mouth. After a few minutes of him cringing, he finally let out a string of profanities, before yelling, "I said _no ice_!" 

With a wave of his hand, the barmaid was incinerated to a crisp. 

"So what was all that about?" Jareth asked him. 

"Don't we normally torment people just for the hell of it?" Durza shot back. 

"I think he meant your...." Rumplestiltskin gestured to his mouth "reaction."

"Oh fuck off! I have sensitive teeth, okay?! You would too if _you _filed your teeth into points!" 

"Well _some _of us aren't edgelords." Jareth drawled, before adding, "But then again, I see that oral hygiene must be low on your list of priorities if you're an evil sorcerer." 

This last comment made the fireball that singed off his eyebrows almost worth it.


End file.
